Gaydar
by vulgar shudder
Summary: A nerdy Heero is sitting alone in a park one day, when someone joins him. AU, Humour, Fluff, Shounen-ai


Gaydar __

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or it's characters…and while I'm at it neither do I own 2000 AD or Judge Dredd…drok!

Warnings: ALTERNATE UNIVERSE (you'll see), VERY OOC, Shounen-ai (if you can't guess from the title), 2x1, 3x4, 2x13 (I guess…), Humour

****

Gaydar

It was a sunny afternoon in the park of some nameless city. Heero Yuy is sitting on a bench quietly reading the comic book '2000 AD'. He is dressed in beige corduroy trousers, white shirt and deep red woollen tank top (not the sexy minimalist soldier type…the ones which grandmothers knit). The withdrawn Heero adjusts his glasses before turning the page of his comic to continue to read about the adventures of Judge Dredd.

Someone momentarily blocks his light as they walk past, but Heero realises that a person has sat down on the bench too. He grips his comic tighter wondering if he should get up and move to a different bench. But instead he steals a quick glance at the person next to him.

It's a guy, similar age to Heero, dressed in black. The Japanese boy's eyes however linger on the distinctive chestnut braid of his bench companion.

Heero gasps in shock when the other man looks at him with those violet eyes and gives an almost cheeky smile.

Pretending he had never been staring, the tank toped boy went back to read his comic.

He read silently, 'What the hell do you think you're doing meathead?' bringing the comic within inches of his face, in a desperate attempt to block out the purple gaze.

The hint was not taken though, and the attractive boy next to him spoke.

"Hiya! I'm Duo, nice day isn't it?"

Uh oh--someone's talking to me!

He lowered the weekly comic but his grip was still tight, crumpling the pages slightly. Heero Licks his dry lips before he nervously begins, "Yeah. It's…warm."

Heero bends his head down, a blush creeping to his cheeks. That must have sounded so lame…

Duo doesn't seem to notice and he cheerfully continues, "Yeah I like to come down here when it's like this, just sit around and relax." With this he leans his head back and closes his eyes, basking in the sunlight.

Heero shyly looks at the other boy, taking the opportunity to study him in more detail. He notices the silver chain and cross that hang around his neck and how it rests so nicely on that toned chest… Hey! Your not supposed to be thinking stuff like that!

He forces his attention back to Judge Dredd when Duo opens his eyes again. The Japanese youth is not expecting any more conversation, however Duo has different ideas. "So what's ya name?"

The boy mentally stumbles at the question. "Um…m-my name…it's Heero."

"Heero? That's a cute name." Duo winks and Heero pushes his round glasses back up his nose.

Did he just say my name was cute?? A tall man walks past in jeans and green turtleneck, and Heero feels disappointment that Duo's attention was now on the man walking by.

Duo continues to watch the man as he walks further away, as he crosses the grass and sits beneath a tree. The young man crosses his legs and sat trying to brush his long bangs out of his face before giving up.

Heero was mesmerised watching him, wondering what had caught Duo's attention when the braided boy himself spoke up "He's Gay. In jeans that tight he's either a queen or a cowboy."

The Japanese boy blinks under his unruly dark hair, "Excuse me?"

Duo looks non-chantilly back at Heero before clarifying; "He's yanno, Homosexual."

The confused youth remaines silent for a moment then asks, "How do you know?"

"Oh believe me, I just know." Duo quickly shushes as another passer-by goes past. It was a slight blond boy in a pink shirt and green vest. When Duo is certain he was out of hearing range he says to Heero, "Now he's flamin"

Heero continues to stare at the blond boy, who takes the same route as the other one had earlier. That young man is still sitting under the tree, but when he saw the blonde's approach he leapt to his feet to run and meet him. The two fall into each other's arms to hug and kiss feverishly.

Heero shakes his dark hair, embarrassed to watch their display of affection, "How did you do that?"

The American sitting next to him responds "Hey listen to Auntie Duo, I have the best Gaydar on the whole L1 colony." He flashes a playful smile at Heero, who looks away hoping his deepening blush isn't noticeable.

He didn't know if Duo was being oblivious or merciful when the dark clad boy starts to look around the park. "Oh my gawd!"

Heero follows the direction of Duo's gaze, seeing a Chinese man in white trousers and navy blue tank top. He's giving violent screams as he aggressively practised some form of martial art. "There's a closet case if I ever saw one!"

He concentrates on the Chinese man for a few seconds before Duo directs his attention elsewhere. "Now you see her? The girl with the freaky eyebrows playing Frisbee? She's a lesbian."

Heero stares in disbelief at the people Duo was pointing out. How had he got into Queenspotting with this gorgeous stranger? He scans the park himself, then says, "What about him over there? By the rose bushes?"

Duo's eyes focus on the tall muscular man, before he beams, "Oh he's definitely gay."

Heero frowns at the braided boy, "He can't be."

"Oh he is, I dated him." Duo leans back with a soft smirk, "If he's not gay then he's a very good actor."

Heero nervously reaches for his glasses again, and looks back down at his forgotten comic still in his hands. He feels a twinge of something when he imagined the handsome man and his bench companion together…Was it jealousy? It can't be…I've only just met him!

Duo seems to notice this inner conflict, and he shuffles across the bench closer to the other boy.

Heero stays still in shock when he notices how close he was to the American. He was also shocked that he enjoyed being so close to that warm body.

"W-well…" Heero stammers, forcing the words out, "What about me?"

Duo's smile melts in slight confusion, "What about you?"

The nervous boy bites his lip, "A-am…I gay?"

Duo smiles again and gazes into those cobalt eyes. Heero feels he must have been put under a spell with that smile.

"Does it matter?"

Heero looks down at Judge Dredd, hoping the law giver would appear and sentence him for being such an idiot. How could someone like Duo ever like such a nerdy moron? He folds the comic book, and smoothes out the creases.

He was about to leave when Duo puts a hand on his arm. Heero feels himself nearly feint at the touch.

"You know," Duo beams with that charming smile, "I play a mean game of Advanced Dungeons and Dragons."

Heero's mouth hangs open in surprise. "You like…AD&D?"

The smiling American looks unfazed as he nods to the question. Duo stands bringing Heero up with him. "Come on. I'll let you be Dungeon Master."

Heero considers this for a moment and holds the comic book close to his body. Just then he looks into Duo's face and smiles. The braided boy delights in the response and takes Heero's arm into his, before chattering away.

They walk out the park to play with 12 sided dice--maybe by candlelight.

__

End

Authors Notes: Am I gonna get flamed (forgive the pun!) for my over use of stereotypes?? Have mercy…

I played around with the tense…trying to make it all in the present…does it make sense?

It was so OOC...but…I thought Heero would be cute in little glasses and all shy!

Was that sappy, funny, or just weird? Could you spot the GW characters?

Gawd I truly hope I haven't offended people with this…

If you've got this far review (or flame)!


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